A new weekly newsletter…

Social connection is a lot like the weather - we all talk about it, but no one does anything about it. This newsletter is here to change that: to raise awareness about the importance of connection and create a space for real conversation. We hope you enjoy.

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AUGUST 25, 2025

Ask Ken:

I’m 60 and recently moved from New Jersey to North Carolina to be closer to my sons. I love being near them, but I left behind all my old friends. I’ve joined a few clubs at my new job, but the members are all much younger and I feel out of place. How can I build a real social circle at this stage of life without feeling like the ‘new kid’ all over again?

-- Laurie from North Carolina

Apparently, you’re on to something. North Carolina is one of the top destinations for older Americans. Heck, even Bill Belichick relocated last year from Massachusetts to North Carolina.   

It’s always hard leaving behind friends and relationships of a lifetime and moving to a new community. I would urge you not to reject the idea of a new friendship just because someone is a decade or two older or younger than you. It was not so long ago that friendships across generations was a common thing, and it was only in the 20th century did age segregation become a way of life in the United States. But the pendulum is likely to swing back: intergenerational living has been on the rise for more than a decade, and I predict that in an increasingly age diverse society, some of the social norms around intergenerational friendships are likely to change as well. Heck, even Bill Belichick has latched onto the joys of intergenerational relationships, though perhaps that is an entirely different thing.   

But put that aside, where can you find people of similar age and similar interests? If you’re interested in lifelong learning, check out the Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes (pleasingly referred to as the Ollies) which caters to older learners. There are at least four Ollies in North Carolina: at Duke, NC States, UNC Wilmington and UNC Asheville. 

Or think about volunteering at an organization that recruits among older people: Experience Corp, Big and Mini, or a personal favorite, CrisisDogsNC, which has a program where senior volunteers help senior dogs.   

Good luck! 

Sincerely,

Ken

The Social Spotlight

It is increasingly hard at any stage of life to make social connections, but it is especially true in the second half of life when institutions of connection like school and work are in the rear-view mirror for many. But not for the Old Ladies Against Underwater Garbage. OLAUG, as it is dubbed, is a group of some 30 self-described “old ladies” who swim the freshwater ponds of Cape Cod collecting trash “and spreading the joy that comes from being involved with nature and working to protect it.” 

OLAUG has some very specific rules: you have to be at least 65 (the oldest current member is roughly 85), and you have to pass an open water swimming test, because their work is rigorous and demanding. They dive in ponds across Cape Cod, Falmouth, and Chatham, often for hours at a time until their clean-up work is done. For that, they get coffee and donuts, and the camaraderie of working in a team. 

You might think the ponds of Cape Cod are pristine, but the divers of OLAUG regularly fish out: beer cans, golf balls, fishing lures, dog toys, jackets… plus the occasional tire, box of fireworks, or even an entire toilet that someone went to a lot of trouble to dump in a local pond. 

Forget The Sign Up Sheet: The Science of Everyday Helping

Regrettably, we don’t qualify for membership at OLAUG for many reasons: age, gender, geography and swimming ability among them. But for those who do join, they are rewarded with renewed purpose, camaraderie and often better health. Research has consistently shown a strong connection, especially in the second half of life, between volunteering and healthy longevity. 

Virtually all of the information around volunteering and healthy aging has focused on the formal volunteering sector, working through established non-profits and charities. And that is a bit of a shame because research has shown that informal volunteering – defined as volunteer support not coordinated by an organization involving helping someone outside of your personal household – is in many places of equal significance. In the US alone, over half of adults report helping a neighbor (10 percent do it on a regular basis) – and it is particularly important in isolated, rural and underserved communities that may lack a critical mass of community organizations. 

Informal volunteering can be just as powerful – and sometime more powerful - than formal volunteering, both for the value of a community and for the health benefits to the volunteer. One long-term study that tracked more than 30,000 U.S. adults found that people who regularly helped others experienced slower cognitive decline compared with those who didn’t. 

So how much of this informal volunteering should you do? A separate study in Social Science & Medicine found that just one hour a week of volunteering is linked to slower biological aging. At two to four hours a week, the perks multiply: improved mood, sharper cognitive health, and long-lasting benefits across both working adults and retirees.  

Bottom line: You don’t always need to join a formal program to make a difference - sometimes the smallest neighborly acts pack the biggest punch – both for your community and health.