I’m 60 and recently moved from New Jersey to North Carolina to be closer to my sons. I love being near them, but I left behind all my old friends. I’ve joined a few clubs at my new job, but the members are all much younger and I feel out of place. How can I build a real social circle at this stage of life without feeling like the ‘new kid’ all over again?
-- Laurie from North Carolina
Apparently, you’re on to something. North Carolina is one of the top destinations for older Americans. Heck, even Bill Belichick relocated last year from Massachusetts to North Carolina.
It’s always hard leaving behind friends and relationships of a lifetime and moving to a new community. I would urge you not to reject the idea of a new friendship, just because someone is a decade or two older or younger than you. It was not so long ago that friendships across generations was a common thing, and it was only in the 20th century did age segregation become a way of life in the United States. But the pendulum is likely to swing back: intergenerational living has been on the rise for more than a decade, and I predict that in an increasingly age diverse society, some of the social norms around intergenerational friendships are likely to change as well. Heck, even Bill Belichick has latched onto the joys of intergenerational relationships, though perhaps that is an entirely different thing.
But put that aside, where can you find people of similar age and similar interests? If you’re interested in lifelong learning, check out the Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes (pleasingly referred to as the Ollies) which caters to older learners. There are at least four Ollies in North Carolina: at Duke, NC States, UNC Wilmington and UNC Asheville.
Or think about volunteering at an organization that recruits among older people: Experience Corp, Big and Mini, or a personal favorite, CrisisDogsNC, which has a program where senior volunteers help senior dogs.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Ken